Making Room

To say that Christmas looked different this year might be one of the understatements of the year. That being said, I’ve loved seeing so many posts online of families celebrating in new, smaller ways.

Our Christmas definitely looked different than it usually does. As an extended family of 40, you can imagine the noise and laughter that fills a room when we all gather together! The cousins love to see each other, as siblings we enjoy each other’s company and Dad always has a story or two to fit the conversation. Having an extended family that is so close is a blessing, one that we don’t take for granted.

However, this Christmas looked even more different than I anticipated. Christmas morning found us driving to Taber, not to attend the Christmas morning service with my parents as we have for as long as I can remember. Instead of standing beside my parents, wholeheartedly singing “Ere Zij God”, we were standing outside the window of Mom’s hospital room, having a little visit through the glass.

Mom has been in hospital for a few days now, battling a case of pneumonia. And while she is doing better and there are many reasons to give thanks, it was a reminder to me of the gravity of her illness. That as blessed as we are having had so much time with her, she is really sick.

That hit me really hard that morning, and as I stood in the shower sobbing, I cried out to God that it was just too big. The hurt, the pain of it all – it’s too big, I can’t do it. I don’t have enough space or capacity for this much hurt. I can’t feel it all – it’s too much.

It was in that moment, like so often, that God brought to mind the lyrics of a song. The song is a Christmas carol by Casting Crowns and Matt Maher titled “Make Room.” Take a listen…

The lines that came to mind were the chorus – “Is there room in your heart? Is there room in your heart, for God to write His story? You can come as you are, but it may set you apart when you make room in your heart and trade your dreams for His glory.”

In the midst of this pain and hurt that just felt too big, God reminded me to not be consumed by it. That I need to not let this take over, leaving room for God to write His story for my life, for our family’s life. That in making that room, in allowing God to do His work, He is glorified.

What seems too big in your life right now? What is just too much to hold onto? Let some of it go – make some room for God. He promises rest to the weary, strength to the weak and comfort to the brokenhearted. It’s not always an easy thing to do – sometimes I want to just hang on to my hurt, to wallow there. But God is not calling us to jump up and pretend nothing is wrong. He wants us to give the hurt to Him, to let Him into that space.

In those moments where it’s too big, where you just can’t cry hard enough, that you feel like it’s taking your very breath away – turn to God. He’s been there. He understands and He wants to carry you through it.